It doesn't seem like it's been that long since I posted Volume 43 of Things Teenagers Say! I guess that just means my students have been on a roll lately...
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Check out previous issues of Things Teenagers Say:
You're a math teacher. You shouldn't be talking about alliteration!
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Did you know that mom spelled backwards is mom?
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I know how to play this game. I'm like a geek at Battleship!
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I like your one earring. I don't care how you lost the other one, so don't tell me the story.
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You glittered all over my bag!
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Student 1: She's bullying me with money.
Me: What?!?
Student 2: I won't give him a dollar
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Guys! Use your inside heads!
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I'm so particular about my shoe laces.
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Yesterday, you were dressed like a banana. Today, you're dressed like an unpeeled banana.
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Student 1: My marker is going out.
Student 2: Hey, at least you finally got someone to go out with you.
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Student 1: I have a hair in my sock.
Student 2: I have a foot in my sock.
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Student 1: I HATE Chinese food.
Student 2: And, Chinese food HATES you!
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I'm going to file a bullying report on you for not wearing socks.
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My future plans are to marry a rich old man and die young in my 30's.
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Heroin is bad for your health. Cocaine isn't as bad for your health.
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I have more chins than friends.
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A student describing their dream:
You were dead because you got into a polygamist husband fight.
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Student 1: What happened to your sister?
Student 2: All I know is that she did SOMETHING to her knee, and they are going to have to do SOMETHING to her knee.
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Student 1: What does your bracelet say?
Student 2: Ecuador.
Student 3: Isn't Ecuador the place where they build floors?
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Mr. Carter should wear a suit covered in Christmas lights to prom since he is the light of your life.
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Student: I just noticed that lifeguard is misspelled in this problem.
Me: Oops.
Student: Yeah, it's life G - U - A - R - D.
Me: That's how you spell lifeguard.
Student: Is it? My friend used to be a lifeguard, and he always told me it was spelled G - A - U - R - D.
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Student: Would you ever date a communist?
Me: Given that I'm married, no I would not date a communist.
Student: What if Mr. Carter wasn't in the picture?
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Student 1: There's a peculiar stain on the carpet in the back of your classroom. I wish to know what happened.
Student 2: That's where she killed...
Student 1: ...George Clooney. I know.
Student 3: George Clooney is dead?!?
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You're a math teacher. You shouldn't be talking about alliteration!
--
Did you know that mom spelled backwards is mom?
--
I know how to play this game. I'm like a geek at Battleship!
--
I like your one earring. I don't care how you lost the other one, so don't tell me the story.
--
You glittered all over my bag!
--
Student 1: She's bullying me with money.
Me: What?!?
Student 2: I won't give him a dollar
--
Guys! Use your inside heads!
--
I'm so particular about my shoe laces.
--
Yesterday, you were dressed like a banana. Today, you're dressed like an unpeeled banana.
--
Student 1: My marker is going out.
Student 2: Hey, at least you finally got someone to go out with you.
--
Student 1: I have a hair in my sock.
Student 2: I have a foot in my sock.
--
Student 1: I HATE Chinese food.
Student 2: And, Chinese food HATES you!
--
I'm going to file a bullying report on you for not wearing socks.
--
My future plans are to marry a rich old man and die young in my 30's.
--
Heroin is bad for your health. Cocaine isn't as bad for your health.
--
I have more chins than friends.
--
A student describing their dream:
You were dead because you got into a polygamist husband fight.
--
Student 1: What happened to your sister?
Student 2: All I know is that she did SOMETHING to her knee, and they are going to have to do SOMETHING to her knee.
--
Student 1: What does your bracelet say?
Student 2: Ecuador.
Student 3: Isn't Ecuador the place where they build floors?
--
Mr. Carter should wear a suit covered in Christmas lights to prom since he is the light of your life.
--
Student: I just noticed that lifeguard is misspelled in this problem.
Me: Oops.
Student: Yeah, it's life G - U - A - R - D.
Me: That's how you spell lifeguard.
Student: Is it? My friend used to be a lifeguard, and he always told me it was spelled G - A - U - R - D.
--
Student: Would you ever date a communist?
Me: Given that I'm married, no I would not date a communist.
Student: What if Mr. Carter wasn't in the picture?
--
Student 1: There's a peculiar stain on the carpet in the back of your classroom. I wish to know what happened.
Student 2: That's where she killed...
Student 1: ...George Clooney. I know.
Student 3: George Clooney is dead?!?
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