Today's Monday which in my classroom means a time to share "Good Things." It's getting to that point in the school year where I'm looking forward to summer vacation. Spring Break seems like a distant memory. It's easy at this point in the year to lose my focus and think only about those important tests we have coming up. But, I didn't go into education for the testing. I went into education for the students. And, today, they are my good thing. If it wasn't for my students who inspire me daily, push me to be a better teacher, and have a penchant for saying crazy things that make me (and the rest of the Internet) laugh, I couldn't do the job I love.
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Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20
Volume 21 | Volume 22 | Volume 23 | Volume 24 | Volume 25
Volume 26 | Volume 27 | Volume 28 | Volume 29
I didn't say I was going to kill you. I just mentioned that something might happen to you.
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Ms. Hagan, you're grounded! You're not allowed to be a math teacher anymore. I think that's the only thing you would ever get mad about missing.
--
If I ever have children, I'm not going to expose them to math until the oldest age possible.
--
He sounds like a dying walrus when he laughs.
--
Will you kick [Student 1] out of class if I give you [Student 2]'s leg?
--
Ms. Hagan doesn't need another leg!
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Do you need a tissue for your issue?
--
I wonder how many cows it takes to make one burger...
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It can go at most 1. Does that mean it can go 2?
--
Student 1: Ms. Hagan, your outfit is on point today!
Me: Thanks! I'm super excited about this dress because it has pockets.
Student 2: You could use your pockets to shoplift stuff. No one would ever notice!
Me: Do you really think I would be the type of person to shoplift?!?
Student 2: I can totally see you shoplifting calculators.
--
Student 1: Math is like a graveyard.
Student 2: No, math is like a relationship. It's full of problems that can't be solved.
--
Student 1: What are you doing?
Student 2: Writing letters to donationers.
--
Student: Does your boyfriend call you Ms. Hagan or Sarah?
Me: What do you think?
Student: Oh, I guess that would be kind of weird for him to call you Ms. Hagan.
--
Student 1: Do you know what rhymes with Friday?
Me: No.
Student 2: Pi Day?
Student 1: No. Vodka.
--
Student 1: It's hot in here.
Me: I'm not hot.
Student 2: Yes you are. You're welcome.
--
(While playing taboo...)
Student 1: You get this when you're a girl. It has to do with your breasts.
Student 2: A bra?
Student 1: No. They smash them in a machine.
Student 3: Mammogram.
Student 1: Oh. I thought that was called a monogram. Oops...
--
Ms. Hagan, he's cropping his ex-girlfriend out of the picture by turning her into a tree!
--
Walking through the hallways is like walking through "Days of our Lives."
Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20
Volume 21 | Volume 22 | Volume 23 | Volume 24 | Volume 25
Volume 26 | Volume 27 | Volume 28 | Volume 29
I didn't say I was going to kill you. I just mentioned that something might happen to you.
--
Ms. Hagan, you're grounded! You're not allowed to be a math teacher anymore. I think that's the only thing you would ever get mad about missing.
--
If I ever have children, I'm not going to expose them to math until the oldest age possible.
--
He sounds like a dying walrus when he laughs.
--
Will you kick [Student 1] out of class if I give you [Student 2]'s leg?
--
Ms. Hagan doesn't need another leg!
--
Do you need a tissue for your issue?
--
I wonder how many cows it takes to make one burger...
--
It can go at most 1. Does that mean it can go 2?
--
Student 1: Ms. Hagan, your outfit is on point today!
Me: Thanks! I'm super excited about this dress because it has pockets.
Student 2: You could use your pockets to shoplift stuff. No one would ever notice!
Me: Do you really think I would be the type of person to shoplift?!?
Student 2: I can totally see you shoplifting calculators.
--
Student 1: Math is like a graveyard.
Student 2: No, math is like a relationship. It's full of problems that can't be solved.
--
Student 1: What are you doing?
Student 2: Writing letters to donationers.
--
Student: Does your boyfriend call you Ms. Hagan or Sarah?
Me: What do you think?
Student: Oh, I guess that would be kind of weird for him to call you Ms. Hagan.
--
Student 1: Do you know what rhymes with Friday?
Me: No.
Student 2: Pi Day?
Student 1: No. Vodka.
--
Student 1: It's hot in here.
Me: I'm not hot.
Student 2: Yes you are. You're welcome.
--
(While playing taboo...)
Student 1: You get this when you're a girl. It has to do with your breasts.
Student 2: A bra?
Student 1: No. They smash them in a machine.
Student 3: Mammogram.
Student 1: Oh. I thought that was called a monogram. Oops...
--
Ms. Hagan, he's cropping his ex-girlfriend out of the picture by turning her into a tree!
--
Walking through the hallways is like walking through "Days of our Lives."